I see many online posts from men who are interested in male chastity, but who aren’t sure how to bring up the topic to their female partner. As someone who has had this conversation and who now practices male chastity in their marriage, I will offer some suggestions for how to get the conversation going.
In my own relationship, my wife opened the door for the conversation back when we were still dating. She told me that she wanted me to refrain from masturbation when we were away from one another. Of course I readily agreed as I had an interest in male chastity already. It was at this time that I began to research male chastity cages, and soon suggested to my girlfriend that I wear one. She had never heard of chastity cages, but was intrigued and welcomed the thought of me wearing one when we were away from one another. This soon evolved into some light orgasm denial and occasional male chastity practice. Fast forward to now and we now practice male chastity on and off. Regardless, I still don’t masturbate. And when we’re practicing male chastity, I wear a stainless steel cage 24/7. My wife holds the key, and I keep the spare key in a small pouch locked with a padlock to which only my wife has the keys. If I need to access the key to my chastity cage, I need to ask my wife. However, the pouch is cheap enough that in an emergency, I could always use a knife to rip it open. When we’re practicing male chastity, I don’t orgasm as long as I’m wearing my chastity cage, though my wife orgasms whenever she pleases. The only time I’m permitted an orgasm is when she desires intercourse, for which she’ll remove the chastity cage. In other words, only she is allowed to use my cock for pleasurable purposes. Otherwise, it’s to remain locked away in the cage waiting for when she desires it.
For us, it’s been a slow and gradual process and it continues to evolve. My wife isn’t interested in the power dynamics of a femdom relationship, but she does love having a husband who is always horny for her and always ready to please her. She also loves the idea of “owning” my cock and of it only being used to please her. The important thing is that we continue to communicate openly about it.
To practice male chastity (or any kink), honest and open communication is the key. If you can’t communicate about such things freely with your partner, you probably shouldn’t be locking up your cock and handing over the key to someone. So I would advise anyone interested in trying male chastity with their partner to simply come out and say what’s on your mind. It’s really that simple. If they’re not interested in it, there’s no point in trying to pressure them into it. You must respect their boundaries. But you can be strategic in the way you bring it up.
Instead of telling your partner about all of your femdom and cuckold fantasies, I’d suggest starting with someone a bit more conservative. Try simply suggesting that you’d like to experiment with your partner controlling your orgasms, or even just suggesting that you refrain from orgasms for a specified period of time, and instead focus completely on your partner’s pleasure. Once you’ve done this for a little while and you’ve ascertained that your partner enjoys it, then suggest bringing in a chastity cage. Start with suggesting it just for an evening of play, and if it goes well, then suggest a longer period of time, like a whole weekend.
By now, you should have a pretty good handle on whether male chastity is something your partner enjoys. Either now, after enough experimentation, check in with them to learn what they enjoy and don’t enjoy about male chastity. After listening to their feedback, share the same thoughts from your perspective.
From here, you should be able to assess how to proceed. If your partner simply is not into male chastity, you’ll need to get creative to find a way to make it a part of your routine in a way that’s comfortable for them, but meets your needs too. If you and your partner see eye to eye, then it’s easy. Just continue on the same path, but with even more open communication. At this point, you can suggest longer lockup periods, fun games to determine lockup length, how to handle keyholding, etc.
If your partner simply wants nothing to do with male chastity, you may be out of luck. You can’t force them do engage in a sexual practice they just don’t like. However, you may get lucky and discover that they’d be willing to play along occasionally in order to help you enjoy it. This will come down to your relationship and how comfortable (or uncomfortable) they are with male chastity.
Again, it all comes back to honest and open communication. One of the best things about trying new kinks and fetishes, and about male chastity in particular, is how vulnerable it makes both partners. This type of vulnerability from open communication can and should only bring both partners closer together and increase both emotional and physical intimacy.
Talking to your partner about male chastity isn’t complicated. In fact, it’s extremely simple. Take baby steps to assess your partner’s comfort level with it, speak openly and honestly, listen to your partner with intent, and be respectful of their wishes. Even if the talk doesn’t result in practicing male chastity with all of the parameters you’ve been imagining in your personal fantasy, what’s even better than that is discussing openly with your partner and creating a fantasy that you both share together.