Communication and Male Chastity

close up of couple holding hands

It’s been interesting to see how one’s relationship with male chastity can evolve. When I first imagined how male chastity would play out within my relationship with my wife, I thought about her playing a role as a sadistic dominatrix type who got off on teasing me and denying me any orgasms. One major flaw in this plan was that my wife isn’t interested in being a dominatrix. However, she does love the idea of my cock only being used for her pleasure, and of me only ever having an orgasm inside her. She hates the idea of me ever masturbating, especially if it’s on my own, and she happens to love the part of male chastity in which I focus specifically on her needs. She loves when I lavish her with attention and bring her to orgasm, usually by giving her oral sex, and she loves feeling the freedom to just lay back and enjoy it without feeling any pressure to reciprocate. 

Male Chastity and Intimacy

My chastity cage is more like a wedding band. It serves as a constant reminder of my commitment to focus on my wife’s needs rather than my own. While she will usually tease me before and after sex, the rest of our sex consists of me focusing on her body and her needs. As long as I’m wearing my chastity cage, I’m unable to experience any stimulation to the penis, and that’s exactly the point. The only stimulation my cock gets is when it’s inside of my wife, and she loves this. She loves that her pussy is the only thing that can ever stimulate my cock physically. While I will give her oral sex whenever she desires it, I must wait until she desires penetrative sex for my cock to experience stimulation. Once she cums, she usually doesn’t feel the need or desire for sex for at least 3-4 days, sometimes more. And she usually doesn’t feel the need for penetrative sex until she’s experienced several orgasms. So that means that I can wait for as long as 3-4 weeks before she’s ready for intercourse, especially if she’s been having particularly intense orgasms. I never mind waiting, and in fact, I actually love waiting. The longer I wait for her to be ready for penetrative sex, the more satisfied she likely has been, and I love that.

Teasing While Locked in Male Chastity

I do sometimes feel a strong need to erotic stimulation during these long waits, though it won’t result in an orgasm, only teasing, but it feels amazing nonetheless. Enter the remote controlled vibrating butt plug. If I’m feeling like I really need some erotic stimulation, I’ll ask my wife to hold the remote control while I insert a remote controlled vibrating butt plug in my ass. She’ll then go about her business, usually watching videos on her smartphone or reading a book, and she’ll control the vibrations of the butt plug in my ass via the remote control while I sit next to her in bed wearing nothing by a thong, a chastity cage, and a butt plug, and will enjoy the experience. She loves glancing over seeing how aroused I’m getting, and knowing that no matter how turned on I am, I’ll still not be able to orgasm, and I love feeling so exposed, fully embracing the humiliation of the experience. It’s incredibly erotic and exciting. Once she’s done with her videos or her book, we’ll shut down the activity. 

Where to Lock the Key to Your Chastity Cage

After all this time, we’re still experimenting with the key situation. My wife always has a key with her, and for a long time I either carried a spare emergency key or kept it in a drawer at home. However, knowing that the spare key is so easily accessible took away from the feeling of her ownership of my cock. We just began using a combination lock box to store the spare key. We have one of those combination lock boxes that people use for storing house keys outside. We keep the key to my chastity cage inside of it. It’s locked and only my wife knows the combination. I carry the lock box in my backpack and must ask my wife to unlock it if I need to remove the chastity cage for agreed upon activities such as cleaning or certain sports. So far, this seems like a good compromise between the fantasy of the key being completely inaccessible and something more practical.

Evolving Your Male Chastity Practice

As we continue to experiment and adjust our approach to male chastity, I find that while our approach differs significantly from how I first imagined male chastity would work in our relationship, I find that our approach is far more meaningful in that it’s been a fusion of input from both me and my wife. It’s still erotic, intimate, arousing, and a ton of fun even though it lacks the femdom aspects I initially imagined. However, what makes it work so well is that it’s a result of our communication and negotiation, which has led to us implementing the aspects of male chastity that appeal to both of us and to do so within each of our comfort zones.

Male chastity works best when practiced between two partners who are open and communicative, and who openly share their needs and desires with one another. One major thing I’ve learned from practicing male chastity with my wife is that it’s unlikely to look like what one initially imagines, and that you can only know how your version of male chastity will work once you and your partner engage in open and honest dialogue.